Slices of life

Miri is having cloudy skies lately, it rains almost everyday and probably also in the coming few days.

Tuesday, rained cats and dogs. Finally get to play basketball games in teams, thanks to chin itchy who drove all the way up there from his house and fetched all of us along. Took him almost 1 hour to reach there with a few minor delays in between, didn’t realized that the place is that far from his house. Anyway, one of us came without having breakfast and played with an empty stomach. Soon enough, the effect of starvation kicked in and began to take over his mind. He played like a barathrum with warpath on frenzy, dota players should know how crazy is that lol. So my friends, if you don’t want to get hurt in any game, please ask your friends to have proper meals before playing.

In the afternoon, I went out to take new passport photos which have become unnecessary expenditure now because my passport renewal has been postponed.. As I drove by a road, I saw the traffic police setting up a checking point at the opposite road, a well known spot for having traffic supervision. Experience told me that there would a scout nearby, probably at the roundabout not far ahead. At that point, there was certainly no reason for me to fall into that koopi-o trap. However, it turned out to be a bad traffic day after all, after the the driving test misfortune hehe.

Later on, I had to turn back because apparently the photo studio which I was heading to had moved away. Clueless on the road, I turned to my hand phone to look for help. I was so busy sms-ing when I was edging my way towards the ambush. By the time my senses came back to me, I was already turning out of the roundabout. To my horror, I was asked to pull up ahead.

“Boleh pegang handfon semasa bawa kereta ke uh?”

“Tak de lah tuan, handfon tu bunyi, saya tutup bunyi je.”

….

“Tolonglah tuan.”

“Tolong ape, tolong saman?”

Tricky old man, he kept pretending to be taking down the fine when he was actually just filling up some general space in the slip. For once, I thought he was asking for bribery – “Ade bawe uang untuk bayar saman sekarang?” It was undeniably tempting to just hand a RM50 note to him but I was not bold enough. In fact, the inexperienced me believed that he was testing me, trying to lure me into committing another offense. At the end of the day, thank God that he was kind enough to let me go for free. To show my gratitude, I stopped using hand phone while driving for the rest of the day, just that one day though.

Was he testing me or really trying to ask for kopi-o? I still don’t know but I am definitely glad that I had survived the day.

That’s the interesting Tuesday.

Of Studying and Living

Unrevealed : “How are your kids doing?”
Unnamed : “She got … place in class. Her sister got … place in class. Their average marks are well over 80. And the little one got 1st place in class.
Unrevealed : “They are doing great!”
--- end of conversation about the kids ---

Are they enthusiastically happy?
I don’t know.
Are they living their dreams?
I’m not sure.
Are they heading towards their desired destinations?
Yea straight A’s. Then?

Hello world

Nowadays, I have this chance to spend half a day everyday with a toddler,
to enjoy her naïve charm,
experience the long forgotten innocence,
remind myself the existence of chastity,
and to redefine and embrace life.

Whenever she is around,
I find myself needing more rest than ever,
which I can hardly get any,
due to her unending activities and unfading energy to explore the world,
I am old yeah,
biologically and mentally.

Her world is a big and fun playground,
my world comprises a to-do list to catch up with the frantically paced world,
everything is new and exciting for her,
I just want to get everything on the list done,
we are both not born with a list,
who gave me the awful list?

What and why are her never ending ammunition,
when we’re so sick of memorizing the laws and theories in sciences that explain the world;
new words and numbers are always fascinating for her,
while languages and mathematics are excruciating subjects to score for good grades for some of us;
why are we so worn-out of learning?

This morning,
we had time to just sit at the roadside,
study the buds of the hibiscus plant,
stare at the ants working,
and laugh at the stray dogs sneezing nearby,
trying to understand the world in the simplest way.

Don’t we live just to learn explore our world?
to learn and comprehend the world better?
so that we could appreciate and enjoy,
all these amusing creations of God?

Examination scheme is definitely wicked,
sacrificing education for its convenience,
the convenience that eventually produces dumber students,
but we must not be deceived and distracted,
because knowledge is what we seek for.

Good night.

Next Stop

Yesterday, someone asked me where I am heading to next, and so I just replied him frankly and unwarily, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute at Troy, New York. Minutes later, I learned that he was having a conversation with others about me. It turned out that he made fun of my choice of university and even sneered at the university’s seemingly unconventional name, so much for the fake and sinister concern. With all due respect, have it his way. Anyway, he just reminded me that I ought to introduce the place a little bit.

Vorhees Computing Center, RPI

My next academic stop is Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, a private research university up north from New York City, in a mid-sized town named Troy. It is an old school and in fact, it is the oldest technological school in the English speaking world. That is probably why it has a rather unusual name of "polytechnic institute" instead of the typical “XXX Institute of Technology”. But be rest assure, it is a well recognized university offering bachelor, master and doctoral degrees. It may not be as perfect as MIT and ivies but it fits me well I guess, cause I ain’t got a prodigious mind.

It is a technical tech school and being technical probably makes it a boring school – less parties, higher male to female ratio(there goes my romance anticipation), more books, more time for computer and academic works. It is also a private school – a lot more expensive, small school size, better personal attention and smaller student body. The extreme weather of New York is making it even worse because people would rather stay at home than travelling through the freezing thick snows. Please pray that I’ll be geek enough to survive the life and at the same time, excel in computing studies.

Google Map

Words of Wisdom

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It is never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Life, update

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive” ~ Dr. Howard Thurman

Tanjung Lobang, Miri

This is the 8th week of my holidays, just how fast more can time slips through my fingers. Life has been somewhat inactive in the past 2 weeks, slacking with the absence of exciting events around - waking up at 7-8am, newspapers, nba playoff, babysit a bit, lunch, a little reading, online, minor exercise, dinner, a little bit of kiddie songs on the piano, online, doze off. In addition to the routinely activities, I enjoyed occasional outing with Mr.Whosetheboss who has not deserted me complete despite his hectic romance schedule nowadays, played basketball, played badminton, visited the library and swimming pool which cost me my swimming trunks.

Best Friends

On top of that, I have been pretty close with a very important person in my life hehe, to be completely honest. I guess I couldn’t help it as we had lost contact or we had not really been in contact for a long long period of time. Well, it’s nothing secretive or too personal to be discussed here. Instead of having restless tongues jittering endlessly and words being passed around uncontrollably, I think I might as well mention it here responsibly and open-mindedly, of how great she has been to me for the friendship and motivations she has brought to me. Like many people out here, we’re both arriving at one of the vital crossroads of our lives, trying hard to sort out our lives ahead. To all my friends, it won’t be easy certainly, but with enough zest and zeal, we will all discover our own paths ultimately! After all, we have all been blessed enough to meet and bond with each other in our lives. Let's work hard together, vamos a trabajar duro todos juntos.

Gang of US Invaders

In less than 4 weeks time, I’ll be leaving this city and in another 7 weeks time, I’ll probably be on my way getting out of this country. For those who are concerned enough, please do the calculation yourself alright? Hehe. My departure may not be something significant, for many have taken the same path. From the very beginning, everything came as a surprise. Escaping from the tyrannical rule at home was somewhat momentous for me. Now, I am given the ticket to the land of freedom and opportunity (which is also the land of prejudice and racism, pray for me lol), the country named the United States of America. I don’t have much idea about what’s gonna hit me over there and how well will I be able to cope. But it is my intention to confront the whole new land, cultural and people head to head in hoping that the cultural shock will be drastic enough to shatter my frame of reference tainted with unreasonable social conventions, reform the long list of social norms and expectations implanted in me and shake off the dreadful punishment oriented upbringing that is shackling me; So that I can finally explore and discover the possibilities in me, and return as a reborn person to live a better life of me, and you.

Freedom

College news and updates, please come to me faster.

The Last Lecture

I was asked to update


‘The Last Lecture’ is a book written by Randy Pausch with the assistance from Jeffrey Zaslow. It is the book that I’ve been reading these few days, for the second time. It is a rather thin book at about 200 pages; however, it consists of one lifetime wisdom of the author. Randy Pausch is a distinguished computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, a devoted husband and a loving father to his 3 young children. At 46, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the worst among all cancers that kills half the patients within 6 months and 96% of them within 5 years.

‘The Last Lecture’ is not an uncommon topic. At many places, a lot of professors were requested to deliver the same topic by addressing what is most important to them should the lecture be their last lecture. For Randy, the invitation to participate in the Carnegie Mellon’s last lecture series turned out to be his truly last lecture. Hesitated between spending his time to prepare for the talk and devoting fully to his family, Randy chose to go up on the stage for that one last time for his family, the people he cared about, the people who cared about him and the tribute to his academic career. Among his many choices, Randy chose the topic “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” for his lecture, one that he deemed would be most appropriate to tell the story of his life. The lecture was certainly not about dying but about living. There, Randy told the story of his life and how his childhood dreams made him the unique Randy today. The book covered everything presented in his lecture with additional information he didn’t manage to bring into that 1 hour.

I haven’t watched his video but the book told me a great deal about this optimistic and fun loving gentleman. Randy wasn’t a top notch millionaire or super genius scientist. He worked hard in his field, dedicated his life to education, devoted himself to his family and lived his dreams, childhood dreams. At times, he sounded self-infatuated and preachy when he talked about all the great things that happened in his life and the things that he admired very much. Either he lived a life too good to be true or he was excessively optimistic, I guess it’s the latter. For Randy Pausch to pack 1 life time into a 1 hour lecture and a book, he had certainly tried his best given the time constrain.

There are two particularly interesting parts of Randy’s life. First would be his childhood experience. “I won the parent lottery” is how he started one part in his book. Randy was born into a fine middle class family where he was blessed with his very inspiring parents. His parents were working middle class people who were actively engaged in charity works. They didn’t live a luxurious life and weren’t fans of materialistic possessions but they were never stingy on buying books. Dictionary was often part of their dinner.

In Randy’s life, his father was a great source of motivation for him. Throughout the book, he quoted his father numerous times and depicted himself talking as channeling his father’s words. His father was an advocator of creativity; Mr old Randy even supported Randy to splash his creativity on the walls of his childhood bedroom. Guess what Randy had painted on his walls, a quadratic formula (-b +- … /2a , owh so geeky), fake elevator doors, a pandora’s box with hope, magic mirror and so on amusing little things that he deemed important for him. Given the freedom granted by supportive and open minded parents, Randy had been able to dream wild and big in his life, and to go all out in pursuing his dreams. How envious I am.

Randy's Childhood Dreams

• experience 0 gravity - achieved
• play in the NFL - X achieved
• become Disney Imagineer - achieved
• write for the world book encyclopedia - achieved
• become captain Kirk - met him
• Win giant stuffed animal at amusement park - achieved

What are your/my childhood dreams?

"The brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brink walls are there to give us a chance to how badly we want something."

The second part would be what Randy explained as the most formidable brick wall he had ever come upon in his life. By now, you might wonder what was the biggest stumbling block for this financially, intellectually and socially successful man. The wall was just 5 feet, 6 inches tall, she is Jai, the woman who became Randy’s wife. They met each others in an academic occasion when Randy was invited to University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. He was 39, a guest speaker, and she was 31, a graduate student (a much older version of teacher-student relationship? lol).

Prior to knowing Jai, Randy was well recognized as “a player who would never settle down”, which is rare in the computer geeks community? lol. He was attracted to Jai at first sight and had soon begun to flirt and ooze his charm. Well informed of Randy’s reputation, Jai hesitated at the outset but soon, still succumbed to his roses and cards, and their long distance relationship blossomed. Soon, Randy was already making arrangement to get Jai to move near his place. Just as things seemed perfectly fine, Randy was thrown a surprise by Jai – “I just … I just don’t love you the way you want me to love you … I don’t love you”. Horrified and heartbroken, he called home, crying to his parents and asking for help (a 39 years old!?). Being encouraging as usual, his parents gave him some genuine advices :

“If she doesn’t really love you, then it’s over. And if she does love you, then love will win out.” ~dad
“Be supportive … If you love her, support her” ~mom

And so, he stayed around and sneaked around her everyday just to make sure that she is alright. Few days later, the wall crumbled, she called back and soon, she moved over to him. Romance of a computer geek? Lol

Towards the end of the book, Randy offered more of his personal insights, encounters and advices. I will let you all to discover them yourself. Some of them are in fact very sensible and thought provoking especially in the matter of how unpredictable life can be. Most importantly, he presented them full of optimism, humors and sincerity even when his health was failing him. Perhaps as you read the book, you may not agree on some of his exceptionally optimistic ideas that appear rather unrealistic, to the extent that he may sound arrogant (He studied at Brown, then Carnegie Mellon, worked with Disney, Google, Electronic Arts....Can he not be proud? lol) Anyway, this is his book, his life and his experience which he is extremely grateful and happy with. This man knew his principles, believed in his life and lived his life maybe more than some of us alive. After all, the lecture and the book were convened for one simple reason/intention – Randy’s children, for Randy to speak to them and for them to meet their loving dad. We are just blessed enough to share a glimpse of the father’s earnest messages to his children.

"Almost all of us have childhood dreams; for example, being an astronaut, or making movies or video games for a living. Sadly, most people don’t achieve theirs, and I think that’s a shame. I had several specific childhood dreams, and I’ve actually achieved most of them. More importantly, I have found ways, in particular the creation (with Don Marinelli), of CMU’s Entertainment Technology Center of helping many young people actually *achieve* their childhood dreams." - Randy Pausch, Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008

Randy Pausch was a professor of Computer Science, Human Computer Interaction, and Design at Carnegie Mellon University. From 1988 to 1997, he taught at the University of Virginia. He was an award-winning teacher and researcher, and worked with Adobe, Google, Electronic Arts (EA), and Walt Disney Imagineering, and pioneered the non-profit Alice project. (Alice is an innovative 3-D environment that teaches programming to young people via storytelling and interactive game-playing.) He also co-founded The Entertainment Technology Center at Carnegie Mellon with Don Marinelli. (ETC is the premier professional graduate program for interactive entertainment as it is applies across a variety of fields.) Randy lost his battle with pancreatic cancer on July 25th, 2008.

On September 18, 2007, computer science professor Randy Pausch stepped in front of an audience of 400 people at Carnegie Mellon University to arrogant deliver a last lecture called “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.” With slides of his CT scans beaming out to the audience, Randy told his audience about the cancer that is devouring his pancreas and that will claim his life in a matter of months. On the stage that day, Randy was youthful, energetic, handsome, often cheerfully, darkly funny. He seemed invincible. But this was a brief moment, as he himself acknowledged.
Randy’s lecture has become a phenomenon, as has the book he wrote based on the same principles, celebrating the dreams we all strive to make realities. Sadly, Randy lost his battle to pancreatic cancer on July 25th, 2008, but his legacy will continue to inspire us all, for generations to come.